Burnt Toast

After we got everything running along pretty well, Mom decided to remarry.  I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this other than to say it was a terrible time in both our lives.  We thought it would last forever, but thankfully, it only lasted about 5 years. 

Burnt Toast came into our lives like a whirl wind.  This man was truly a silver tongued fox, especially, when it came to getting mom to go into his hair brained schemes.  He tried to convince her that the three of us could live in a 26 ft. travel trailer.  Fortunately, she did not go for that one. Then, he talked her into getting a HAM radio license.  Mom's call sign was N5JAQ, November 5 Juliet Alpha Quebec.  I remember this because every time she used the radio, it would interfere with my TV and scramble the reception.  I would hear her instead. He convinced her to move onto the same property with his ex-wife and their children.  I always felt horrible for her.  Can you imagine having to drive by your ex-husband and his new wife every single day? He really was a terrible person. 

He was so slick and sly in his methods.  Our move from Austin occured before we even knew what was happening. Each day mom would come home to find furniture missing.  One day it was the dining room furniture.  Another day, it was the couch.  Still another day all of the living room furniture was gone.  Eventually, we were eating on plastic Lean Cuisine plates at a card table with director chairs.  It was horrible. Mom was surprised by this, but it didn’t stop and she didn't know how to make it stop.

Eventually, we moved to Fort Worth, Everman to be specific, to live in a single wide manufactured home (that’s a trailer you know).  We lived there for about a year and then we moved out to a little town called Poolville.  Mom always told everyone that Poolville was not the end of the world but you sure could see the dropping off place from our back door.  I loved the school I went to and the friends I made.  I honestly, do not think I would have survived that terrible time if it weren't for my friends and their families.  I don't know if they ever really knew how bad my home life was but they allowed me to stay at their homes almost every weekend. 

Poolville was a very small school.  There were about 150 kids from kinder through 12th grade. It was a good school though, full of good people.  I was there from 3rd grade through 6th.  I was a very shy and insecure kid at that time. BT was the kind of man who believed children should be seen and not heard. This type of small setting was perfect for me and my state of mind at the time.  To think of leaving my small country school and going to a huge city school terrified me.  It was only a matter of time before we left and that was a good thing. Fortunately, mom allowed me to stay through 6th grade.  We had to that leave that world.  Neither of us could have emotionally survived if we had stayed much longer. I'm so fortunate that most of the friends I made during that time are still in my life, thanks to Facebook. (Hi Anna, Charlie, Misty and Cathy)

School let out May 27th and we moved into Ft. Worth on May 28th. Mom and BT found an apartment for us in southwest Ft. Worth, not far from Hulen Mall.  We needed a place where we could have easy access to public transportation or friends that could help us from time to time.  This fit all the needed criteria.  It was weird on moving day, because BT helped us move in, then left with his parents after all of our things were loaded into our new home.

On that first night, we ordered pizza, cuddled in mom's big bed and relished what was ahead.  Mom was in control again.  We were together.  We were happy, at last.  We were taking our lives back. 

The one good thing that BT gave us was his family. It still amazes me how such a horrible person could come from such great people and have such great children.  We are still blessed to have his daughter and her family still a large part of our lives.  For that, I'm truly grateful.

Many people used to ask if I'm bitter or angry about that time in our lives.  I can honestly say, no.  It made me who I am.  I am a better person because of him not despite him.  My mother and I have a bond even greater than we had before him, we needed each other and we still do. He didn't win.  We did.